Identity Crisis

“You’re too young to go for all this now! Wait a few more years…”
“You’re too old for all this childish nonsense, grow up will you?!”

If you’re between the ages of 13-18, you’re no stranger to the above sentences…. To the predecessors, I totally understand, to the successors, all the best for what you’re going to have to endure!

Firstly a sincere apology to my sparse loyal readers, I’ve been dealing with the pangs of adolescence a little too frequently nowadays..

My parents seem to have taken to criticizing every action of mine nowadays, and at times I just don’t get what I’ve done that’s so wrong! Maybe I’m whining, but hey I’m going through stuff here! My parents have deluded themselves into thinking that whatever they do is for my happiness and the betterment of my future, but leaving me in tears each and every time isn’t my idea of joy…

I go left, I’m wrong. I go right, I’m doubly wrong. With all the awkwardness that accompanies this phase, my pillars of strength, ‘supposed’ pillars of strength seem to have the weakest foundations. My studies, friends, love and life are all being trashed and all I can seem to do is stand and watch it raze to the ground.  Accepted, that all I do is not right, but all I do isn’t all that wrong either right? Right.

Social life seems to either be wholly Facebook or nothing at all! There’s nothing I can seem to do to please anyone! Teachers need studious, friends need cool, what about me? If I express I’m too bold, if not I’m too shy. With all the relationships going haywire simultaneously, which one do I focus on?

I seem to have lost myself in all this mess. Always rushing in to please and help others, a desperate bid to stay away from wrongdoings, a struggle to maintain a hold on my academics and loss of my very identity in all of this. And it does not help matters that my parents seem to be the most orthodox and even primitive. Extreme, I know…but true if you knew them! I’m talking about parents who raise their hands to beat to blood in anger at being questioned, resorting to burning if rebuked.

I don’t mean to sound like a typical teen ( though maybe I do! ), I do understand my parents legitimate concern over me.. But what if it crosses the limit of reason? There’s nothing more infuriating then being told off for every step you take and chastised as too young to understand anything.

No privacy, no liberty – A monarchy of sorts…

Are all teenagers leading such lives? 

2 thoughts on “Identity Crisis

  1. Trundled over here after you had kindly posted on my Freshly Pressed entry. This first post caught my attention immediately – you’re expressing yourself exquisitely well.

    Being a teenager is not easy for anyone – teens have a mind that’s exploring and questioning everything about themselves and their world, yet they are caught in a twilight zone of limited free agency. This will pass all too soon, and you will find yourself the master of your own destiny – perhaps even before you want to be.

    Good luck, and keep writing.

  2. Wow… My heavens what a talent for expression you have! Please, keep up the wonderful work because, I can tell I will learn a lot from your work.

    I’m a mom to a young man about to turn thirteen (Geeze, has it really been that long?) and I know he has had these same feelings you so eloquently wrote of here. You give me a window to understand and remember my own misgivings and feelings of 30 years ago. Thank you for reminding me. I needed it.

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